| Sep. 13th, 2004 @ 08:48 pm Keep your distance from my penis-car! |
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Current Mood:  confused
Current Music: Shimomura Yoko - Friends in My Heart
Over the weekend a friend gave me a ride home from work. She's not used to driving in town AND she has a van, which have notoriously bad turning radii. Add to this that I had to give her on-the-fly directions because she hadn't been to my place before. About a block from the cross-street where she should turn left, she attempted to change lanes.
She turned on her blinker (yes, she did!) and started to change lanes to the left. Almost instantly we hear an obnoxious horn blasting from behind. I'm not talking the short, "honk honk honk" type of horn; I'm talking the 'HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK!!!!" type of horn.
To make a long story short, a Porshe was in the left lane but AT LEAST ONE CAR LENGTH BEHIND her when she attempted to change lanes. My deduction is the fucker panicked, thought his midlife-crisis, pretty-car-that-compensates-for-his-small-penis Porshe was about to be taken out by a VAN.
Oh, you can't damage his penis-car, Shelley! It's the symbol of his manhood! But not much of a symbol if he thinks it can be taken out by a goddamn VAN.
It wasn't even a very nice looking Porshe at that.
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Observations
There's a disturbing lady who I occasionally see on the bus. She's definitely middle-aged, I'd say 40+, and I'd guess she's single. Why? Well, because of the "Johnny Depp - Eye Candy" t-shirt she often wears (and there are others...) and the tote bag she carries that is covered with little pictures of him.
Her, single? Call it a wild guess.
One of the things I wonder is where she works. She comes downtown dressed like that and I assume she has a job, but what employer would allow you go to work in that attire? Not an office job? It's baffling.
Not to mention the fact that - it's just plain disturbing!!! Don't get me wrong, Johnny is all that and then some, but I haven't flaunted my fandom to that degree since high school. Oh, I've had my share of Duran Duran t-shirts, tote bags, my cutout albums full of their pictures from magazines, posters and what have you, but there's a teensy, weensy difference - I was 15, not 40.
It's difficult not to laugh when I see her on the street or on the bus. But I try.
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Mysterious Hygene Issues
I'm getting patches of dry skin in weird areas of my hands, and in matching sets to boot. At the bottom of both my palms, right above the wrist creases at the opposite ends from my thumbs, I've got small dry patches. It's the kind that I could probably peel right off, if I had the nails to do so. It's not the patches per se that bother me; their location, on the other hand, is perplexing. I can think of no reason why there should be dry patches here.
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Damn, I need a day off. |
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